GUEST POST by Amanda Marks. Too Many Anchors is honoured to feature a submission by Amanda Marks.  Amanda was born and raised in Bay L’argent, Newfoundland. Along with her husband Jerry, she now calls Brooks, Alberta home. The richness of laughter and family times are her greatest treasures.  Amanda’s post, Realization!, is one to which we can all relate. ~GS

Realization…what a word! Whenever I think about it, I picture a big bright light that says WOW! But really, I feel that we don’t think about the word nearly enough. Going through life, I gather there are many times that REALIZATION has hit me, withoutknowing it.

Reflecting on my childhood and early adulthood, I realize, I am and always have been, a people pleaser. I would go out of my way to make anyone happy and felt like a failure if it they were not. I would sit and wrack my brain about what I did wrong and how I could possibly fix it. Sometimes, I would ponder to the point that it would make me physically ill, yeah, I know, it’s dumb! But you can’t tell that to a people pleaser with low self esteem.

As a young wife, I was always eager to please, I wanted to make sure my husband was always happy in every sense. I kept a clean house, raised our kids, cooked meals everyday and bought in a pay cheque. But once again, I worried I was not enough. Should I do more? Could I do more? I now realize that I did my best and it was enough. A good work ethic was instilled in me from a very early age. The harder you work the more you will be rewarded. I now realize, that, most of time, the only reward you get is more work. What a world, eh!

As the years have passed, my kids have grown into incredible adults and they have made me proud, pretty much everyday, I am now a nanny (best feeling, ever) and I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for over 35 years. Also, I’m considered a senior citizen now, bring on the discounts..WHOOOO!

As I reflect on my past 55 years (almost 56) this is MY realization – IT DOES NOT MATTER ! I think about the countless hours I have spent worrying about things that were unimportant. I don’t know if I’ve grown wiser in my older years (probably not) but the one REALIZATION, is that I am quite happy and content with who I am and where life has taken me.

I hope that you can, someday soon, find your REALIZATION, too!