Does one moment or event define us, make us who we are? No, it is every high, low, trouble and triumph. As the adage states, “none of us are as good as our best moment, or as bad as our worst.” We are imperfect creatures- physically, emotionally, spiritually, and communally.

 In all aspects of life, there are exceptions to any so-called rule of what constitutes perfection. Though we recognize the faults each of us possess, we continually call out things in others we find annoying, distracting. With enough exposure and interaction, many of us feel emboldened to brazenly disparage others, all in the name of enhancing our own image.  In those cases, we are repeatedly allowing our unkind and petty selves to show. Being condescending of someone’s clothing choice, their hair style, or mispronunciation of a word, only shows our character imperfections, instead of those undeserving we have made targets.

I often bite my fingernails, I snore occasionally (so I am told), and impatience can be my calling card more often than I would like. My lame jokes bring eyerolls from my now grown sons, I rewatch a program waiting for myself to laugh at the same scene as I have many times prior, and I still ‘forget’ to take out the garbage. I can be moody, a geek, opinionated, and procrastinate. However, I am kind, empathetic, compassionate, and principled. I will fight to the end for social justice and the fair treatment of all people. This is me, in all my shining glory. As much as I wish my flaws were not as noticeable, they are an intricate part of what makes me who I am – perfectly imperfect.

It would be easy to blame social media for increased put-down behaviour, to throw barbs at the fans of an opposing sports team because they are “stupid”, or belittle children when they try their best, all because we feel we look lesser as parents when our kids do not win first place. However, social media does not exist in and of itself; without followers, posts, likes, and insufferable comments, there would be no social media culture. These are misguided antics. They do not help society to become better, rather they enhance the ugliness humankind has shown repeatedly. Somewhere along the way, comradery at the workplace manifested to gossip about whoever just left the room. The little quirks we all have that were endearments at the outset of a relationship, over time become the focal point at the end of a long and frustrating day highlighted by “I don’t know why you do that.”

Last week, I was on my way to pick up pizza (with pineapple) and had to stop for a school bus to offload kids. Two six-year-olds caught my eye. Their coats were not zipped, backpacks unclosed, noticeable missing teeth, with yelps of excitement filling the air. They were not dragging themselves in a way that signified imminent collapse at the end of a day. There was joy. Seeing those kids, made me ask, “when did we lose that?”

Running into the house after a day at school usually led to a change of clothes, grabbing a cookie, and off to climb trees or dig holes. Had the pursuit of job, money, and status numbed us of the raw joy life can bring, even as adults? This is why we all need to reflect on how we treat others, how we project our frustrations onto those we supposedly love.  Words matter; actions matter more. Showing children our goofy side, the ability to laugh at ourselves, and to cast aside our terrible day, will allow us to get out of our own way, to allow our imperfections to not become regrets.

Several years ago, I had the words ‘I AM’ tattooed on the inside my wrist. It means nothing to anyone else; but it doesn’t need to.  For me, at any given time, it is a reminder that I am strong, I am tired, I am struggling, I am not in a good place, or I am at peace.  It gives me the opportunity to embrace my imperfect self and start again tomorrow.