“We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are”.  – Anais Nin

If I had made a New Years resolution, it would have been broken in record time. So, to quit drinking coffee is not going to happen.  At the start of the year, I prefer to identify some “hopes”, things I feel will improve how I feel and see things.  In other words, to open my world to new experiences, to laugh, to smile more.  These are not unrealistic hopes, even if there are days when I don’t feel like it.  Change can be slow, difficult, and painstaking.  It can be tough to get out of our own way.  Stepping out of the isolation we have mistaken for a safe space can be daunting.  It is not until we examine our “perspective”, in conjunction with the experiences of others, can we see our world differently.

Issues surrounding mental wellness are among the unspoken.  While acceptance is growing, stigma remains.  For those who battle issues that have affected your mental health, finding understanding and acceptance is not easy.  The battle we wage with ourselves is even more complicated.  Whenever my thoughts have taken a turn, I retreat from everyone. Shutting people out, and shutting myself down, is not uncommon.  At those times, I am consumed with one thing – ME.  I do not see the pain and misfortune of others; the everyday battles being fought on the physical and mental health fronts by young and old.

The issues that derail our mental wellness- loss, abuse, injustice, addictions, loneliness- are hard.  If we act or respond in a questionable way, we may hear someone say “you didn’t have a choice”.  I recently watched a program where that comment was followed by “that doesn’t help now but it will later”.  When we are going through our lowest moments, we ask “WHAT WILL HELP NOW?”    The stark reality is found in the only truthful response – “Nothing.  This part is just hard.”   And there it is!  Dealing with emotionally charged hurt is just hard.  No song, no magic words, and no one fix pill can remedy that truth. 

When I go down the rabbit hole, caught up in my own very real mindset surrounding abuse and injustice, there are things I do not notice.  Perspective.  Yet, when someone who has been awaiting test results hears “I have some bad news”, their shock and perspective just became hard.  Unknown territory.  Their private hell.  These are times when I want to think I can be there for them, for people I care about, but I can’t always be sure.  In trying to maintain perspective, self-care is vital, but self-care does not mean losing my empathy and compassion.  It means I have to step up for others, just as others have been strong for me. 

Perspective shows us we are all connected at some point. Allowing yourself, despite your own struggles, to recognize those of others with empathy and compassion, makes for a more peaceful existence.