As a boy growing up in a rural area, the onset of winter, even the hint of frost or snow, was met with excitement.  Excited for winter?  Yes, indeed!  Ice forming on the pond was the beginning of an endless game where we became our hockey heroes. Our winter wonderland was just that, a world of runny noses, wet mittens, frozen toes, skates and sleds. That excitement was only dampened by rain or warmth that took the first ice away.  Our wishes were temporarily shattered, yet we had hope. 

Life is not fair, nor are its challenges and lessons easily resolved.  Along the way, we forget to have fun as we become consumed by events that steal our joy.  We can become unrecognizable to ourselves, and to others.  “What happened to you?” “You’ve changed.”  These are familiar refrains we may hear as part of our “new normal”.  Having our energies drained and self-doubt arise can come from grief and sadness at the loss of a loved one, a miscarriage of justice, the cycle of abuse, or even PTSD.  In short, our mental wellness needs attention to repair the hurt.

In childhood, we were bonded with our friends and knew our true selves.  We lived from moment to moment with joyful reckless abandon.  Then, circumstances saw us withdraw, bottle things up, lose hope.  Trying to claw our way back is not easy.  While some persevere to reclaim a life they can enjoy, others do not. Judgement, and feelings of inadequacy, can block any path to healing.  However, the power of connection remains a road to success. Our journey “back” may begin with an activity we have not done in a long time, meeting an old friend, connecting with someone we have not seen in a long time; when the fires of familiarity burn, we respond. 

Dark periods do not fade from memory.  Rather, healing is about not being scared to reveal your scars.  When you find “your people”, those who respect you now, the hope of moving forward can become a reality.  We may read and research endlessly and gain knowledge, yet we may not understand ourselves any better.  Allowing yourself to connect, to smile back when someone smiles at you, to laugh at a ridiculous story, and recall the sound of skates cutting the ice as your toes start to numb.  Let’s be kind to ourselves. We have hope.